Seventy six trombones led the big parade
With a hundred and ten cornets close at hand
They were followed by rows and rows
Of the finest virtuosos the cream of ev’ry famous band

Seventy six trombones caught the morning sun
With a hundred and ten cornets right behind
There were more than a thousand reeds springing up like weeds
There were horns of ev’ry shape and kind

There were copper bottom tympani in horse platoons
Thundering, thundering all along the way
Double bell euphoniums and big bassoons
Each bassoon having his big fat say
There were fifty mounted cannon in the battery
Thundering, thundering louder than before
Clarinets of ev’ry size and trumpeters who’d improvise
A full octave higher than the score

Seventy six trombones led the big parade
When the order to march rang out loud and clear
Starting off with a big bang, bong
On a Chinese gong by a big, bang, bonger at the rear

Seventy six trombones hit the counterpoint
While a hundred and ten cornets played the air
Then I modestly took my place as the one and only bass
And I oompahed up and down the square