Just declaim a few lines from “Othella”
And they’ll think, you’re a helluva of a fella
If your blonde won’t respond when you flatter ’er
Tell her what Tony told Cleopaterer
If she fights when her clothes, you are mussing
What are clothes? “Much Ado About Nussing”
Brush up your Shakespeare and they’ll all kowtow

Brush up your Shakespeare, start quoting him now
Brush up your Shakespeare and the women you will wow

With the wife of the British embessida
Try a crack out of “Troilus & Cressida”
If she says she won’t buy it or tike it
Make her tike it, what’s more “As You Like It”
If she says your behavior is heinous
Kick her right in the “Coriolanus”
Brush up your Shakespeare and they’ll all kowtow

Brush up your Shakespeare, start quoting him now
Brush up your Shakespeare and the women you will wow

If you can’t be a ham and do “Hamlet”
They will not give a damn or a damnlet
Just recite an occasional sonnet
And your lap’ll have “Honey” upon it
When your baby is pleading for pleasure
Let her sample your “Measure For Measure”
Brush up your Shakespeare and they’ll all kowtow

Brush up your Shakespeare, start quoting him now
Brush up your Shakespeare and the women you will wow

Better mention the “Merchant Of Venice”
When her sweet pound o’ flesh you would menace
If her virtue at first she defends – well
Just remind her that “All’s Well That Ends Well”
And if still she won’t give you a bonus
You know what Venus got from Adonis
Brush up your Shakespeare and they’ll all kowtow

Brush up your Shakespeare, start quoting him now
Brush up your Shakespeare and the women you will wow

If your goil is a Washington Heights dream
Treat the kid to a “Midsummer Night’s Dream”
If she then wants an all-by-herself night
Let her rest ev’ry ’leventh or “Twelfth Night”
If because of your heat she gets huffy
Simply play on and “Lay on, Macduffy”
Brush up your Shakespeare and they’ll all kowtow.